Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
Chuck Norris leaves messages before the beep.