During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
Chuck Norris installed his own home security system. It's called "Chuck Norris."
Spilled milk cries over Chuck Norris.