The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win. No questions.
Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.