The best Chuck Norris jokes

The only Christmas present Chuck Norris ever gives is allowing you to live.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes.
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Chuck Norris does not need guns to win, he only uses them to fight fairly.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win. No questions.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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