The best Chuck Norris jokes

Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
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Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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