Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune. The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
Chuck Norris can fall up.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.