Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays". The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.