Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
For Chuck Norris... In the game Monopoly every space is free parking.
Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT. He got a perfect score.
Chuck Norris stared at the sun... the sun went blind.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
You don't invite Chuck Norris. He invites himself.