The best Chuck Norris jokes

Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
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Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Many years ago Chuck Norris and a brown bear had a fight. The loser had to go live in the north pole.
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Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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