The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris made an armless man tap out.
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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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The Universe is not expanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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Chuck Norris speaks english, french, spanish, italian and portuguese. At the same time in every sentence.
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Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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