The best Chuck Norris jokes

50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
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Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
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Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow. The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold. So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
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Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life, IT
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health