Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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