The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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