Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.