The best Chuck Norris jokes

Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
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Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
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Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food