When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.