A Mormon Family, one Monday evening, sat around the fire place and was discussing Church Finances, that included paying Tithing to the Bishop. Their little five year old boy heard this, than ran to his bedroom, grabbed his piggy bank, went to the Mormon Bishop's home and poured the contents of the piggy bank onto the Bishop's desk. The Bishop asked, "Is this your tithing?" the little boy said, "No Bishop." The Bishop than asked him, "Is this your Fast Offering?" The little boy again said, "No Bishop." The Mormon Bishop had a puzzeled look about him, and than asked, "If this is not your tithing or not your Fast Offering, than What is it?" The little boy said, "It's for you, Bishop, Mommy and Daddy just told me that you are the poorest Bishop that we have had."
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
A preacher was giving a sermon to a full church when all of a sudden the devil appeared. He was menacing and threatening and the entire congregation started to flee the church except for one old man. When the church was empty the devil went up to the man and asked "aren’t you afraid of me, I’m evil incarnate, the most horrific being in the universe and will most likely torture you!" The man replied "You don’t scare me, I’ve been married to your sister for 35 years."
One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church. The preacher said, ''If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.'' So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart. The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his penis. The old woman looked over and said, ''He said he could heal, not raise the dead!''
Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.