The best college jokes

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: work, management, college, graduation, stupid
Q: What do you call a black guy who goes to college? A: A Basketball player.
Vote: has 66.90 % from 715 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, sport, college, school
A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
Vote: has 65.00 % from 80 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, college, student, teacher
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: religious, college, terrorist, time
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, college, math, age, wife
There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said. So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. " As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, bar, business, college, student
In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, beauty, love, college, drunk
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Vote: has 52.31 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food, communication, college
Signs You're No Longer in College... You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close. Your potted plants stay alive. You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill. Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces. You attend parties that the police don't raid. You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking. You refer to college students as "those kids." You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza. At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out. Naps are no longer weekday options. Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy. Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips. You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, college, food, money, divorce
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, college, age