The best communication jokes

Q: What happens when spectroscopists are idle? A: They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chemistry, nerd, communication
Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition." "The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?" Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words." There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, women, money, communication
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: "So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!" "Oh, that's wonderful! And how old is the bride?" "She's 19." "That's fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!" "Ah well, if she dies, I'll just have to remarry."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, doctor, communication, marriage, death
Q: What was the world's first palindrome? A: Madam, I'm Adam.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, bible, history
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, women, men, communication
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: poems, women, men, communication, sex
Q: What are the blonde's first words after 4 years of college? A: "Would you like fries with that?"
Vote: has 52.31 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, food, communication, college
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n. Female......Any part under a car's hood. Male........The strap fastener on a woman's bra. 2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj. Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another. Male........Playing football without a cup. 3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n. Female......The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner. Male........Leaving a note before taking off for a weekend with the boys. 4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family. Male.........Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's girlfriend. 5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.v. Female......A good movie, concert, play or book. Male........Anything that can be done while drinking, and ends with sex. 6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n. Female......An embarrassing by-product of digestion. Male........A source of entertainment, self-statement and male bonding. 7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n. Female......The greatest statement of intimacy a couple can achieve. Male........Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed. 8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n. Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another. Male.........A device for scanning through all 175 channels every 5 minutes.
Vote: has 51.89 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, car, football, technology, communication
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day and he really needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled, "Teacher, Teacher, I have to go pee pee!" The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, you should be old enough to know that this is not the proper word to use?" "The correct word would be urinate." "Now Johnny, would you please use the word urinate in a sentence?" Little Johnny thought for a moment then said:, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten!"
Vote: has 49.03 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher, age, communication
Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: old people, time, communication