The best computer jokes

A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
Vote: has 75.86 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, age, dad, programmer, computer
I like my women how I like my laptop. Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.
Vote: has 75.49 % from 177 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women, computer
Q: What do you call a computer expert? A: A control-alt-elite.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, IT, geek, work
Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night: PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible. PC2: Why, what did you dream about ? PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!
Vote: has 74.97 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, computer
Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, technology, computer
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, computer, health
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
Vote: has 74.16 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, marriage, computer, romantic, food
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, computer
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
Vote: has 74.15 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, computer, IT, technology, celebrity
Why is a woman different from a PC? A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, computer