The best dad jokes

A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Vote: has 43.13 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, dad, car, age, kids
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, dad
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
Vote: has 40.31 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, dad, car, driving
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama, dad, sex, insulting
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Vote: has 39.59 % from 117 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, dad, animal
Why does the chicken is sad? Because his dad is a cock. Why does the chicken is even more sad? Because he faces the same future.
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dad
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
Vote: has 37.45 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, dad
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote: has 35.73 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dad, sex
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, age, kids, dad
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, dad, computer