A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans.
Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl.
She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!"
Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it.
Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!"
When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor.
The mother ran over and stomped on it.
The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school.
Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?"
"Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
Vote:
"Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?"
"Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"
Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'm gonna go play in my room for a couple of hours.
I sure would like a piece of cake after though!
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow!, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"
Vote:
Dad, would you like to save some money?
I certainly would, son.
Any suggestions? Sure.
Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up.
The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.”
The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.”
“That’s what my father says.”
Son: "Dad, I'm cold..."
Dad: "Stand in a corner, they're usually ninety degrees!"
Vote: