How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Death once took Chuck Norris. He regreted it.
Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? Noah - he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.
Someone call CSI. I just killed my workout.