The best death jokes

A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably... "My wife missed the bus"
Vote: has 65.81 % from 1184 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, husband, death, wife
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, funeral, death
A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk promptly fainted. The court bailiff commenced to reviving the man, and looked up at the judge, at which time the judge shrugged and responded "I've always wanted to do that."
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, drunk, death
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, baby, doctor, hospital, death
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, hunting, death, animal
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, death, black people, racist
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, death, pirate
Jenna, Jessica and ariana die. They all go to heaven and GOD says, "You can do whatever you want, just don't step on a pink cloud". The first day, Jenna goes out and comes back with a ugly guy. Jessica and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jenna says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The next day, Jessica goes out, she comes back with a ugly guy. Jenna and Ariana ask, "what happen?". Jessica says, "I stepped on a pink cloud". The following day Araina goes out and comes back with a HOTT guy, blue eyes, thin and tall. Jenna and jessica ask, "What happen?" The guy says, "I stepped on a pink cloud".
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, death, god, heaven, ugly
The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 65.02 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist, death, black people