The best death jokes

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Vote: has 58.77 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, jewish, death, Hitler
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, music
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!" At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building. The blonde then orders the Same beer. She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window. And falls to her death. The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, bar, beer, death, celebrity
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, music, funeral
A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "F**k, I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I f**k’n missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh f**k" The priest said, "That’s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "F**K, I Missed."
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport, priest, golf, god, death
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote: has 57.73 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women, wife, death, sex
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, death, women, military
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
Vote: has 57.44 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, death
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death