Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o’clock news. The news was about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, ” I BET you $50 the man is going to jump.” The blonde replies, “Okay you’re on.” Sure enough, the man jumps, and the blonde gives the brunette $50. The brunette says, “I can’t accept this MONEY. I watched the 5 o’clock news and saw the man jump then.” “No, you have to take it,” says the blonde. “I watched the 5 o’clock news too, but I didn’t think he would do it again.”
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road? There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.