The best death jokes

Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles? A: Because his wife died.
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, wife, death
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
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More jokes about: blonde, bird, death
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Vote: has 47.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher, death, family, sex
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, work, death, celebrity
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook, death