Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Two rabbis prepare to wash the cadaver of a recently deceased before burying him, according to a Jewish tradition. The deceased possessed a tremendous sexual organ. Aaron, you see what I am seeing? Yes Jacob, I see it... it is as mine. That long? No, that dead.
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.