The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
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A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.
Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"
"My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."
"Gee, that's tough," he replied.
"Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."
"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."
"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."
"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."
"Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet?
Because deep down they are really good people.
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
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Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!