The best dirty jokes

Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Mr. Smith's wife has been in a coma for four months. The nurses have come to realise that she moves every time they wash her crotch area. The doctors think hard about this. They bring in Mr. Smith and say that they have a good idea. Perhaps if he practices oral sex with her she will wake out of the coma. Mr. Smith would do anything so he asks for some privacy. He soon rushes out saying: "I think she's choking!"
Vote: has 61.71 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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"Is it rape if it's your wife?" "I don't think so." "What a relief! I thought you'd be mad as hell!"
Vote: has 61.56 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
Vote: has 61.39 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's long and hard and full of semen? A: A submarine.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, animal, sex, relationship
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

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Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
Vote: has 60.21 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

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Three policemen are sitting in a car. Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already. On thinks of an idea: Guys, lets play golf. All we need is a stick, ball and a hole. I can arrange a stick, – one says. I will get a ball, - adds another. Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
Vote: has 60.08 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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