Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blowjob with handlebars.
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste
Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty. Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand. The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something. "What are you looking for?" Billy asked. "Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied. So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q: What do you call a one-man quickie? A: A yankee.
Q: What do you call a blonde doing a handstand? A: A brunette with bad breath.
How does a gay man fake an orgasm? He spits on his partners back.