The main rule to obey, if you are in jail: never take a bow for a fallen soap from the wash basin. Try and you'll cry.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Roses are red
lemons are sour.
Open your legs
and give me an hour.
Q: What do you call nuts on a wall?
A: Wallnuts
Q: What do you call nuts on your chest?
A: Chest nuts
Q: What do you call nuts on your chin?
A: A penis in your mouth
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night?
A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Vote:
Are your legs made of Nutella?
Because I'd love to spread them!
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."
Vote:
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
There was three boys called Zip, Dick and Piss They were in class and their teacher went out to make a phone call Right then Zip jumped on the table Dick jumped in the teachers chair And Piss was punchin everyone in sight 3 minutes later the teacher back in and said Zip down Dick out and Piss in the corner.