Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep? A: When the big hand touches the small one.
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous? Get back! I have no idea how big it grows!
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Nothing spreads easier than butter, except for yo mommas legs.