The best dirty jokes

A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
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There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick. He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed: Have you been doing anything unusual? And he said: No. So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks. So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked: Have you been doing anything at all unusual? And the guy said: Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.
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What do you say to a virgin? Thanks for nothing!
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Why does a squirrle swim on its back? To keep its nuts dry
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What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k? A joystick does its job.
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Vote: has 40.17 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

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My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.
Vote: has 40.15 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash.
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Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her. Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.
Vote: has 39.81 % from 179 votes. Send joke:

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I need your help making a cream sauce.
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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