The best dirty jokes

How do you make a snooker table laugh. Put your hands in its pocket and tickle its balls.
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has 58.01 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, game
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer? A: Chelsea.
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has 57.98 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, political, soccer, sport
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
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has 57.93 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: dirty
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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has 57.83 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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has 57.83 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison
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