What do you give the princess who has everything? A seatbelt and an airbag.
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
How do you get a Michigan girl into an elevator? Grease her hips, and throw in a Twinkie.
Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.
Who is little, black and jumps? A flee! But who’s big, black and jumps? Dr. Alban!
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
Q: Why are black peoples nostrils so big? A: Because that's what God held them by when he was painting them.
Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?
Hey babe, I'd like to take it your rack! High five!
I've got something you can take up the chain.