The best dirty jokes

May I push in your stool?
Vote: has 30.47 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

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How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.
Vote: has 30.20 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate? A: Fuck if I know
Vote: has 30.14 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit? Are you gonna eat that?
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?
Vote: has 29.51 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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Want a taste of my hanging sausage?
Vote: has 29.42 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called? A: Her clit
Vote: has 29.17 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

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What does a white chick and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts !
Vote: has 27.48 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

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After a long time two friends met, happy to see each other. One of them, chewing on something big, asked his friend how was he and what was new in his life. After the friend told his story, he asked the same question to the friend who was chewing something. "So, what’s up man?" "It’s a shitty period, there is nothing that works in my life and I feel really bad." "What is going on?! "Last Saturday I went to Las Vegas. You know that from time, to time I’m going there to play at casino, three or four times a year. I took with me thousand dollars and I put the other hundred in my driving license that I left in the car. For the safety reasons, you know, if it goes really bad at casino, I must have the money to pay highway and go back home. And so I walked in casino, I bought the chips and found an empty seat on a roulette table, next to a beautiful woman, about forty years old with a very provocative neckline. I made my first bet on 32, the number of my house, aiming 10 dollars." "How did it go?" The guy continues to tell his story, without stopping to chew something. "Released! I felt all the winning streak and I bet again on 32 and it’s released again. I was winning almost 13 000 dollars and the adrenaline was at maximum. I felt like I was the God and around the table came so many people to congratulated me and I bet more than 10 thousand dollars on 23." "And it went out again?" "No! This time came out a bloody 13. Do you realize that I had the bad luck? I had in my hands a lot of money and if 32 came out I was settled for a life time. But the horrid number 13 ruined my evening and the hole week after." "I understand you very well. It ‘s really to eat the balls." The other friend, continuing to chew louder: "What do you think I’m doing?"
Vote: has 25.28 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

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Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
Vote: has 24.77 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

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