The best disgusting jokes

Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: April fools, disgusting
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? A: Because they part for every little shit.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, marriage
A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
Vote: has 69.88 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, redneck, marriage, family
One day in the city a bus driver was making his usual stops. At the first stop a woman came to the front of the bus to get off. She turned to the bus driver and said, "I think I was just molested back there." The bus driver looked at her and said, "Not on my bus. You couldn't have been." So, he lets her off and drives on. He comes to the next stop and another woman comes to the front to get off. She, too, looks at the bus driver and says, "I think I was just molested back there." Now the bus driver thinks that something has to be wrong, to get two complaints like this in one day is just unheard of. He gets up out of his seat and goes to the back of the bus. To his surprise there is a bald guy crawling on the floor on his hands and knees. The bus driver says, "Sir, what are you doing?" The man looks at him and says, "I lost my toupee. I thought I found it twice, but I lost it again."
Vote: has 69.88 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, women
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
Vote: has 69.73 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, wife, doctor, car
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fish, holiday, sex, wife
Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, viagra
I was having a shit in the train toilet today, when some bloke knocked on the door. He said, "Can I see your ticket please?" "Not right now" I shouted, "I'm having a shit!" He said, "I don't believe you, can you pass it under the door?" "No problem," I said, sliding it under. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn."
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs. A: Ground Beef!
Vote: has 69.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
A cowboy rides in the desert and comes upon a Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm finding out the time -- it is 12:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and thinks, "Wow, it really is 12:15." The cowboy continues and sees another Native American lying naked with a hard-on. He asks, "What are you doing?" The naked man replies, "I'm seeing what time it is -- it is 3:15." The cowboy looks at his watch and that is the correct time. The cowboy continues and finds a third Native American lying naked on the ground, masturbating. The cowboy asks what he's doing and he replies, "I'm winding my watch."
Vote: has 69.28 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, cowboy, time, masturbation