The best disgusting jokes

What do Mario LeMieux and Courtney Love have in common? They both shower after three periods!
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More jokes about: disgusting
If I wanted some comeback, I'd wipe it off your chin!
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
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More jokes about: disgusting, football
A couple walked into the supermarket. They looked confused, so a clerk walked up to them and asked them what they wanted. The couple asked for a couple of lottery tickets. He gave the tickets to them, and they paid for them. The husband looked confused again. He asked the clerk, “What the hell do I do with these damn things?” The clerk replied, “Well, you're supposed to scratch the box and see if you've won anything.” The wife looked disgusted. "Oh please," she muttered. "What?" asked the clerk. "Oh nothing," she answered, "it's just that, well, he's been scratching down there for years, and he ain't won a damn thing."
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More jokes about: disgusting, husband
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, animal, food
What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroke-n-off
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More jokes about: disgusting, masturbation
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received. My penis is now 235 feet long.
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More jokes about: disgusting, sex
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo? Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first. Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz. Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p? Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, school
Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air. Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
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Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
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More jokes about: disgusting, elephant, animal