The best disgusting jokes

The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
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What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
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Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? A: He came home shit faced.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, sport
Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What does it look like when you microwave a baby? A: I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, couple, sex
There was a vampire who walked into a vampire bar and asked the bartender for a glass of hot water. The bartender asked what for, because everyone else was drinking blood. The vampire pulled out a bloody tampon and said "TEA TIME!"
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, bar, bartender