# The best disgusting jokes

Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job? A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
Vote: has 48.71 % from 272 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, wife, work, time
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.
Vote: has 48.67 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like. "A cup of boiled water please" "Water? I thought you guys drank blood" "Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, time, animal, car, cat
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him? A: He came home shit faced.
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, gay, love
Q: How do you know when it's bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? A: The big hand touches the little one.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke: