The best disgusting jokes

3 bums were outside a bar. The first one went in and asked for a fork. The second one went in and also asked for a fork. Then the third one went in and wanted a straw. At this point, the bartender became curious. "How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?" "Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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What is grosser than gross? When you're kissing Grandma and she slips you the tongue.
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What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
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Did you hear about the midget that went into the whorehouse? He got a twat in the face.
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Some advice for guys: When the red river's flowin', take the dirt road.
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Q: What's the difference between pea soup and roast beef? A: Anyone can roast beef.
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More jokes about: disgusting, food
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
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More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
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More jokes about: disgusting, animal
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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More jokes about: disgusting, health, time