A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first? The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably. The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?" The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
What's better than 10 dead babies in 1 bag? 1 dead baby in 10 bags.
What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What's grosser than that? Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar. What's grosser than that? When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face. You want to know what's grosser than that? When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner. But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!