Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
What kind of a car does a proctologist drive? A brown Probe!
A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first? The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!
Another name for a vagina is a cockpit
What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What's grosser than that? Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar. What's grosser than that? When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face. You want to know what's grosser than that? When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner. But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!