Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
What does Michael Jackson call a Tickle-Me-Elmo doll? Bait!
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.
What's funner then nailing bin Laden to a tree? Feeding his lifeless corpse into a meat grinder.