What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
This is a visual joke. Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have? A palestinian waiting for the bus.
I love cats – they taste just like chicken.
What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a dead puppy.
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.