Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse?
A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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What did the mother vampire say to her daughter when she picked up a tampon?
"Honey, no in-between meal snacks!"
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
You can't fuck a table.
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Your fart's so loud, astronauts in space mistook your fart for a message from Houston!
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"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?"
"Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
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What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated?
"Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"
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When you're neckin' with yer honey
And your nose is kinda runny
You might think it's funny...
But it's not.
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Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle?
A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
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Q: What's the difference between an epyleptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diahrrea?
A: One shucks between fits.
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What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape?
The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
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