The best doctor jokes

Romi (to the doctor): "Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift." Doctor: "Tell her to come in." Romi: "I cannot" Doctor: "Why so?" Romi: "Because she does not stop at this floor."
Vote: has 72.24 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, doctor
As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
Vote: has 72.14 % from 470 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, sex
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, couple, doctor, food
A doctor had been attending a rich old man for some time, but it became apparent that the old chap had not long to live. Accordingly, the doctor advised his wealthy patient to put his affairs in order. "Oh yes, I've done that," said the old gentleman. "I've only got to make a will. And do you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to leave it to the doctor who saves my life."
Vote: has 71.93 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, doctor, life
Patient: "Are you sure that you can do this operation safely?" Doctor: "That is what I want to find out myself."
Vote: has 71.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor
Q: Why did Santa's helper see the doctor? A: Because he had low "elf" esteem!
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Santa, doctor, elf
Christian Doctor: "Your recovery was a miracle!" Christian Patient: "Thank God! Now I don't have to pay you."
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, doctor, customer service, money
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life, time, prison
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That’s not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
Vote: has 71.72 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women, doctor, money
A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon suite, and it turns out they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to the husband. "OK, honey," he says, "this is what we'll do. I'll go into the closet and you go into the bathroom. We'll both get undressed and turn off the lights in the bedroom. And then on the count of three we'll both rush out at each other and then it will just happen in the middle of the bedroom." The wife is a bit unsure about this, but since she doesn't have any better ideas she agrees. So, the husband goes into the closet and the wife goes into the bathroom and they both get undressed. The anticipation is driving the husband mad and as he takes off his clothes he gets an enormous erection. The wife turns off the lights and on the count of three they both rush into the bedroom towards each other. But since the room is dark the husband gets disoriented and runs by his wife — right into the dresser. He hits the dresser so hard that he passes out from the pain. The next thing he remembers is coming to in a hosital bed, with a doctor looking down at him. His throbbing dick is still so painful that he moans to the doctor, "Doc, doc, how bad is it?" "That's nothing, son. Wait till you see your wife! We still haven't gotten her off the doorknob."
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, holiday, couple, husband, doctor