Two children are in a doctor’s waiting room, and one of them is crying.
"Why are you crying?" asked the other child.
"I’m here for a blood test, and they’re going to cut my finger."
When he heard this, the other child started to cry.
"Why are you crying?"
"I’m here for a urine test."
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers.
He rushes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do."
"But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor.
"Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
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Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter."
Responses:
American: "Keep trying!"
Briton: "Change Doctor!"
Aussie: "Follow a special diet."
Indian: "Practice yoga!"
Pinoy: "Let me try!"
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live.
"That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient.
"Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?"
Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Doctor: "And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?"
Patient: "Very well, I've been divorced for half a year now."
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