The best dog jokes

A man is out walking in New York when he sees a girl being savaged by a fierce dog. He fights off the dog by beating about the head with a stick and saves the girl's life. The girl's mother rushes over to him: "Thank you, thank you, you are a hero, tomorrow all the newspapers will have headlines about Brave New Yorker Saves the Life of Young Girl" "But I'm not a New Yorker," the man says. "Oh, then it will say in all the newspapers Brave American Saves Life of Young Girl," says the mother. "But I'm not an American," the man says. "What are you then?" asks the mother. "I'm an Iranian," the man says. The next day he sees the newspaper headlines: Islamic Extr*mist kills American Dog.
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More jokes about: life, dog, death, animal
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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More jokes about: black humor, animal, dog, food
Q: What is the difference between a dogs ass and liberals? A: Nancy Pelosi won't kiss a dogs ass!
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: democrat, dog, vulgar, political
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, political, animal
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, doctor, money
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. “Oh, no laundry,” the boy said. “I’m going to wash my dog.” “But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog. It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him.” But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog. About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. “Oh, he died,” the boy said. The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, “I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog.” “Well,” the boy replied, “I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.” “Oh, what was it then?” “I think it was the spin cycle.”
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, age, dog, death
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, airplane, travel, dog, animal
Q: What did the Arctic wolf ask in the restaurant? A: "Are these lemmings fresh off the tundra?"
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More jokes about: dog, food, winter
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.
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More jokes about: Yo mama, dog
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, animal, dog