The best dog jokes

Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.
Vote:
has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote:
has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: airplane, animal, dog, kids, travel
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Vote:
has 57.26 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, marriage
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Vote:
has 57.08 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when she walks the dog, they both use the same bush.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: dog, Yo mama
Q: Why do dogs lick their balls? A: Because they can. Q: So why do they stick their noses in women's crotches? A: Same reason.
Vote:
has 56.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty, dog
A hunter was out with his dog Old Faithful when he sees a duck and shoots it down. Old Faithful runs and brings his back the duck. As the hunter reaches for the duck a forest ranger comes by snatches the duck out of Old Faithfuls mouth puts his finger in its ass pulls it out smells his finger and says "This here is a Wisconsin duck, do you have a license to shoot Wisconsin ducks?" The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Wisconsin duck. The officer says "thank you, sir, have a great day and leaves." The hunter then proceeds with Old Faithful when he sees another duck, takes as I'm and shoots it down. Old Faithful runs grab the duck and come back. The hunters about to grab the duck when the same forest ranger comes back, grabs the duck out of the dog's mouth take his finger puts it up the ducks ass, pulls it out smells his finger and says "This is an Ohio duck, have you got a license to shoot Ohio ducks, sir?" The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for an Ohio duck. The officer looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, just doing my job, have a nice day," and leaves. Well, this kept happening over and over. Every time the hunter shot a duck and Old Faithful would bring it back, the Same forest ranger would be there to question the hunter if he had a license for all the different ducks he shot, and in his bewilderment seeing the hunter having all these different licenses for each duck. Well on the last duck the hunter shot and Old Faithful bringing it back, the Same forest ranger comes and triumphantly snatches the duck out of the dogs mouth, takes his finger puts it up the ducks ass, smells it and says "This here is a Canadian duck, have you got a license to shoot Canadian duck?" Exasperated, the hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Canadian duck. The forest ranger looks at the hunter and says, "you know sir, you've had a license for every duck you shot, tell me, where are You from?" The hunter turns around, drops his pants, bends over and says, "You tell me! You're the Expert!"
Vote:
has 55.64 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, dirty, dog, hunting
I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
Vote:
has 55.20 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: animal, birthday, dog, food
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
Vote:
has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dog, fart, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls? A: To get the taste of negro out of thier mouths
Vote:
has 54.32 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: black people, dog