How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Question: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? Answer: The dog, because he’ll shut up after you let him in.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
A mother and her son are sitting on an airplane, which is ready to take off. The son admires the parked plains’ through the window. At one point, he turns to his mother, which was reading a magazine, and pops the question: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" The child’s mother, bored to think of a reasonable answer, consultant him to ask the flight attendant. Therefore, it happened: "Since big dogs have little dogs, and big cats have little cats, how come, big airplanes have little plains?" little boy asks the flight attendant. Then, with a smile on her face, stewardess replied: "Did your mom told you to ask me?" The boy shook his head positively. So, she says back: "Tell your mother, that our company knows better and.. pulls out in time!"
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
"Does your dog bite?" "No." (Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him) "Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" "That is not my dog."
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.