The best family jokes

A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: black humor, family
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C." Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
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has 66.21 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, family, stupid
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: family, fat, insulting, Yo mama
When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, money, school, teacher
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
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has 65.43 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?" The baby bear replied, "No he beats me." The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: divorce, family, sport
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, mean, money, time
Q: Which Bible character had no parents? A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bible, family, geek, IT
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
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