Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar? Mating call
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Why do women fart after they take a piss? Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.