The best fart jokes

Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 46.99 % from 86 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar? Mating call
Vote: has 45.30 % from 146 votes. Send joke:

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A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom? They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? A: Her ankles swell up when she farts.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

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Why do women fart after they take a piss? Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.
Vote: has 38.12 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, fart