There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
Your mom is so fat when she jumps all the oceans disappear.
Yo Momma IS SO FAT WHEN YOU GO AROUND HER YOU GET LOST!
Your mamma is so fat when she steped on the scale it said to be continued.
Yo mama so fat, her portrait fell off the wall.
Yo' Mama so fat, I can stand on her belly and high-five God.
Yo Momma's so fat when she takes a bath she fills the tub then turns on the water.
Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28, and her other arm is just as big!
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
Yo momma so fat, she bounced over Wal-Mart, rolled over KMart, and landed on target.