The best food jokes

What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.
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has 73.52 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: food, money
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, health
A mother is making a cake for her three sons when she accidentaly dropps some BB from the shelf into the batter. She decides that it won't matter and continues to make the cake. Later that day, her sons eat the cake and don't even notice the BBs. The next day, when the mother is reading a magazine on the couch, one of her sons runs in saying, "Mom, mom, I pissed out a beebee!" She says "That's okay, son. I accidentaly dropped some beebees into the cake batter. You'll be fine." Five minutes later, one of the other sons, come running in and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." But the mother cuts him off and she says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. I dropped it into the cake batter, but you'll be fine." Then her last son runs in the room, and he says, "Mom, mom, I.." And the mother cuts him off and says, "I know, I know, you pissed out a beebee. It's my fault for dropping it in the cake batter, but you'll be fine." But then son says, "No, no, I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"
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has 73.27 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, food, masturbation
What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.
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has 73.25 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, women
Where do milk shakes come from? Nervous cows.
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Two lawyers arrive at the pub and ordered a couple of drinks. They then take sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat. Seeing this, the angry publican approaches them and says, 'Excuse me, but you cannot eat your own sandwiches in here!' The two look at each other, shrug and exchange sandwiches.
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has 72.84 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: food, lawyer
I decided to grab a burger at a drive-thru. There were no cars in sight, so I rolled up to the pay window. "We're still serving breakfast. And you have to order at the speaker," the clerk scolded. I drove all the way around the building to the squawk box and ordered a breakfast sandwich. "I'm sorry," she said, "we are now serving lunch."
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, customer service, food, mean, time
Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
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has 72.70 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, food, life, music
First soldier: “Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?” Second soldier: “No way, Jose!” First soldier: “Whyever not?” Second soldier: “It’s against regulations to help another soldier to dessert!”
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has 72.70 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: food, military
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