A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans? A: The black ones steal your watch.
How do you describe an angry potato? Boiling Mad.
Yo' mama's breath so nasty, I don't know whether to give her Tic-Tacs or toilet paper!
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
Why did the potato cross the road? He saw a fork up ahead.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."