Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
When I offer you food it's just because my mother raised me right. As a firend, read the truth in my eyes and politely decline.
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
Chuck Norris invented hot sauce. To put on his peppers.
Yo mama's so fat the only alphabet she knows is her KFCs.
Yo Momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas.